All He Ever Desired (The Kowalskis) Read online

  When she got to the library, she saw Hailey locking the front door and got out of her car to read the sign taped to it. “‘Closed early for personal reasons. Reopening Tuesday morning as usual.’ How many people do you think are going to complain?”

  “A few, but I don’t care. There’s been a sign up at the circulation desk for a week and I’ve told everybody I could think of, so I did what I could.”

  “Well, let’s go because we’re running late.”

  “I don’t even know why we’re spending the time and money,” Hailey said once she was buckled up. “I think the only single, non-Kowalski guys that are going to be there will be Drew Miller and his dad. Drew’s not divorced yet, plus Mallory’s my friend so he’s permanently out, and his dad’s too old.”

  “This was your idea.”

  “I know. It sounded like fun at the time. Today it’s just reminding me I have nobody to look hot for.”

  “Why are you discounting the Kowalskis? Josh is single. And hot.”

  “I’m discounting him because someday he’s going to wake the hell up and realize he’s in love with Katie Davis and I’d rather not be his girlfriend or, God forbid, wife, when that happens.” She turned sideways a little so she could stare at Lauren. “I notice you didn’t mention Ryan. Any particular reason you don’t think I should hook up with him?”

  There wasn’t a damn thing she could do about the blush, but she tried to sound as nonchalant as possible. “He lives in Mass. You live here. Would never work out.”

  “Perfect for a short, smoking hot sexfest, though, don’t you think?”

  She should say yes. Yes, Ryan would be perfect for a short, smoking hot sexfest and Lauren would know since she’d been giving that very subject a great deal of thought lately. But in no way, under any circumstances, did she think Ryan was perfect for Hailey’s sexfest.

  “I’m just pushing your buttons,” Hailey said, and then she laughed. “You should see your face right now.”

  “I don’t have any claim on him.”

  “Maybe not, but you want to and that’s enough to make him off-limits to me. Which brings me back to why we’re spending time and money at the salon with no hope of getting laid. Well, you might. But I won’t.”

  “I won’t be getting laid. And we’re going to the salon because Paige is getting married and it’s a party in October in Whitford. That alone is worth an eyebrow waxing.”

  Hailey turned back to the windshield and crossed her arms. “My vibrator doesn’t care about my eyebrows.”

  “Your vibrator also can’t take out the trash.”

  “Doesn’t leave dirty clothes on the floor.”

  “Can’t haul the Christmas decorations down from the attic.”

  “You and I have different priorities.”

  Lauren couldn’t argue with that. Vibrators and Christmas decorations aside, she and Hailey had very different priorities when it came to men. Lauren, more than anything, wanted company. She wanted somebody to share her life with, especially since Nick would be going off to college in a couple of years. Hopefully.

  Hailey was looking for a man to start a life with. Lauren knew, under the flippant talk of smoking hot sexfests, what her friend really wanted was a husband and kids, and she wasn’t getting any younger. So, while they both might be looking for a man—though Lauren wasn’t putting a great deal of effort into the hunt—they needed men at very different stages of their lives and looking for very different things.

  “I’ve been thinking about moving,” Hailey said.

  “Moving? You love your house. And your job. What are you talking about?”

  “If Mr. Right was in Whitford, don’t you think I’d have found him by now?”

  She had a point, but giving up her job and her home and leaving a place she loved to go track him down was crazy and Lauren said so. “How would you pick a place to move to? Say some kind of magic spell, close your eyes and see where your finger lands on a map?”

  “If I move to a city, like Portland, there’s a much bigger pool of guys to choose from. One of them’s bound to be right.”

  “Yeah, except for the fact you hate being in the city and he obviously wouldn’t.”

  “I’d live in the city for the right guy.”

  “You’re being crazy.”

  “I know. I said I’ve been thinking about it, not that I’m putting my house on the market tomorrow.”

  Lauren didn’t want Hailey to move. Not only was it not a good plan to find her happily-ever-after, but Lauren needed her in her life. Whenever she started getting stuck in the rut of routine, Hailey would pull her out.

  They argued about how wacky Hailey’s plan was until they arrived at the salon and Lauren had to subject herself to the painful process of looking good for Paige’s wedding. The haircuts and facials weren’t bad, but they both whined their way through having their eyebrows done. And, when it came time for manicures and pedicures, Hailey went for hot-red nails. Lauren wasn’t a bright kind of girl and she didn’t have a dress yet, so she went with a French manicure look.

  The next stop was the mall for a dress. Or rather, they would be looking for a dress after Hailey stocked up at Victoria’s Secret. Lauren never went in the place. She couldn’t afford to spend that kind of money on underwear nobody but her would see. She wasn’t sure she’d spend that kind of money even if somebody was going to see it.

  But while she waited for Hailey outside the dressing room, a bra caught her eye and she found herself touching the delicate ivory lace. It was gorgeous. It was also expensive. She needed snow tires. There were the constant deposits made into Nick’s school lunch-money account because he ate like a horse. With winter coming, the heating bill would go up. With his hours cut because of the economy and two little kids, Dean was maxed out on the child support he could keep up with. She could come up with a million reasons why it was stupid to buy the bra-and-panty set.

  She could try it on, though. It wouldn’t hurt and maybe it would pinch or cut into her skin and she’d hate it.

  A few minutes later, though, she was looking in the mirror and trying to find a dollar she could cut from the budget for every dollar the set cost. She could buy the store brand yogurt instead of the more expensive brand she liked. Same with the toilet paper. She’d do better at bringing lunch from home to cut down on running out of the office for something to eat.

  She couldn’t really make it add up in her head, but she wanted the lingerie. Maybe more than she’d wanted anything in a long time. It was soft and feminine and sexy and made her breasts look amazing.

  “Oh, there you are,” Hailey said when she emerged from the dressing room. “I thought you left—oh, those are so pretty! Tell me you’re buying them.”

  “I’m buying them.” It was stupid and maybe a little irresponsible, but she couldn’t remember the last time she’d splurged for herself.

  She was forced to try on an endless stream of dresses in an endless stream of stores before Hailey finally declared they’d found the right one.

  Lauren looked at her reflection in the mirror. The dress had long sleeves and was shimmery and clingy, but with a loose drape to the neck and back. And it was a pale silvery-blue, while she’d been thinking of going with autumnal shades like a hunter-green or russet or navy. “Are you sure?”

  “It’s gorgeous and, when you’re wearing the bra you just bought under it, it’ll be killer. I swear. Every guy there will drop their jaw when you walk in the room.”

  That wasn’t a big selling point for Lauren, who preferred not to be the center of that kind of attention, but she had to admit she wouldn’t mind seeing Ryan’s reaction to the dress.

  And if she did dance with him, not that she planned to, his hands would glide over the dress, and she wondered if she’d be able to feel the heat of his skin through the fabric.
“I’ll take it.”

  Chapter Nine

  Ryan watched his sister retying Mitch’s tie for what seemed like the hundredth time and, though he chuckled at the very unweddinglike word that crossed Liz’s lips, he was having a hard time swallowing past the lump in his throat. His big brother was getting married today.

  All five of them were in Mitch’s room. Liz was fussing over Mitch while Ryan leaned against the door and watched. Josh was stretched out on the bed and Sean was sitting in the wingback chair in the corner.

  Paige hadn’t wanted anything too fancy, so they were all wearing simple button-up shirts with dress pants, while Mitch had on one of his business suits. His brother probably could have tied his own tie in about two seconds flat, but it seemed to mean something to Liz to do it for him, so they were all waiting for her to figure it out.

  It took her another three tries before she patted the knot and took a step back. “There.”

  Even from his vantage point, Ryan could see it was a little loose and crooked, but Mitch kissed her cheek and left it alone. “Thanks, Liz.”

  “Getting cold feet yet?” Josh asked. “We can tell her you shimmied down the rain gutter and took off into the woods.”

  “We haven’t changed the brackets on the gutters yet,” Ryan pointed out. “If he tries to shimmy down that pipe, he’ll spend his honeymoon in traction.”

  Sean laughed. “With all those pulleys to elevate body parts, maybe he can keep it up more than two minutes.”

  “I’m not shimmying anywhere,” Mitch said. “I don’t shimmy. And my feet aren’t cold and I don’t need pulleys to keep anything up, thank you very much. Stop deflecting your dysfunction onto other people.”

  “Hey, Emma doesn’t complain.”

  Liz gave him a sweet smile. “Not to you, anyway.”

  They all laughed, except Sean, whose expression just made them laugh harder. “She’s kidding! Jesus, Liz, tell them you’re kidding.”

  They heard the sound of feet running down the hall and then a fist pounded on the door. Ryan stepped aside and pulled it open.

  Bobby, Mike and Lisa’s youngest son, had already messed up his hair, and his shirt was half-untucked. “Grammy said the bride—that’s Paige—is ready so you all need to come down now.”

  “I’m glad you specified. I’d hate for Mitch to marry the wrong woman.” The kid just blinked at Ryan. “Tell her we’re on our way.”

  Bobby took off at a trot, which seemed to be the slowest speed setting he had, and Ryan closed the door again. “You ready?”

  Mitch nodded, and Ryan couldn’t see even a hint of doubt or hesitation on his brother’s face. He was happier than he’d ever seen him before.

  “Oh, for chrissake, Liz,” he heard Josh mutter and he turned to see Liz struggling to open a travel pack of tissues she must have dug out of her purse.

  Sean took it from her and a few seconds later handed her an unfolded tissue. “If you’re crying already, you’ll be dehydrated before it’s over.”

  “Did you see how much wine Fran ordered? Nobody’s dehydrating today.”

  “You didn’t cry at my wedding.” Sean almost sounded insulted.

  “How do you know? You never took your eyes off Emma. And I didn’t think Mitch would ever get married.”

  Ryan suspected the tears had more to do with the end of her relationship leaving Liz emotionally raw, but he kept his mouth shut. With the lodge damn near overflowing with love and laughter, he could understand why she didn’t tell anybody she’d left Darren yet.

  “Jilly Crenshaw is taking pictures, right?” Josh asked.

  Mitch nodded. “Yeah. She’s always had a thing for photography, I guess. She’s pretty good at it and, since her son really loves cooking for Paige at the diner, she offered to do it as our wedding present.”

  “Make sure she gets a picture of us, okay?” Josh said. “Just us.”

  “On the porch would be nice,” Liz added quietly. “Like the picture Mom took.”

  Ryan knew even Josh, who was only five when their mom died, remembered that day. Their mother had dressed them all up and, even with the promise of going into town for ice cream and threats from Rosie, it had taken forever to get all of them smiling at the same time.

  “I’ll make sure it happens,” Mitch said. “Let’s go before we run out of tissues.”

  Ryan led the way to the great room, where they were having the ceremony before moving outside for the reception. And, because he was in front, when he caught sight of Lauren and stopped dead in his tracks, the groom plowed into his back.

  She looked incredible. Her hair was soft and loose around her face, and she had on a dress that was a silvery pale blue and had a soft, draped look while still clinging to her curves. She looked damn good in her everyday clothes, but in that dress...holy shit.

  “Why’d you stop?” Mitch asked. “You can’t have cold feet. It’s my wedding.”

  Ryan started walking again and all heads turned toward them. Including Lauren’s. Through the corner of his eye, he saw her walk to her seat, with Hailey Genest beside her.

  Then Mitch elbowed him and he had to pay attention. Once the groom was deposited in front of the fireplace, Ryan and Sean went back to the staircase for Aunt Mary and Rose, whom they escorted to the row of seats in the front. Once that was done, he took his own seat between Uncle Leo—who, being a smart man, had a whole package of tissues at the ready—and Sean.

  Everybody hushed when Steph’s iPod began playing the wedding march and Paige appeared.

  Her dress was simple and elegant. It was white satin, with a square neckline and a slightly flared skirt that ended about mid-shin. Her hair was up and she was wearing his mother’s pearl earrings. She looked beautiful.

  Mitch and Paige had chosen not to have attendants and instead stood, just the two of them, in front of the notary who was officiating. Ryan could hardly hear their vows over the sniffling around him, but he could see the love and joy on their faces and he found himself hoping that someday a woman would look at him that way.

  Cindy, his ex-wife, hadn’t. At the time they’d both thought they felt the real thing, but it had only taken them a few years to amicably and mutually come to the realization it wasn’t. Now though, looking at the real thing, he could see the difference.

  They all erupted in cheers when Mitch kissed his bride, and they rose to their feet when the newlyweds walked back down the makeshift aisle and turned toward the kitchen. They were followed by the notary and by Rose and Aunt Mary, who’d be signing the paperwork as their two witnesses.

  “Everybody head outside,” his cousin Terry yelled over the noise.

  Ryan was only too happy to oblige. It was a beautiful day and, though the guest list was small, it had gotten hot inside very quickly.

  Most of the guests were ignoring the monster canopy they’d put up, choosing instead to enjoy the autumn sun. There was food under the tent, though. Tables and tables of food, thanks to the women of Whitford. They loved a potluck dinner and had been more than willing to save Mitch and Paige the cost of a caterer.

  Fran and Katie were pouring champagne into the glasses lined up on the table, but Ryan made a beeline for the cooler tucked under the end and grabbed a beer. He was only having one, since he’d volunteered to drive anybody home later who’d had too much to drink. Whitford didn’t have a taxi service, so that meant he’d probably also spend a good part of tomorrow reuniting those people with their vehicles.

  But watching Mitch dance with his wife in the yard they’d played in as kids, and surrounded by pretty much everybody they cared about it, it was worth it. He’d worry about shuttling guests and cars later. For now, he had a wedding to enjoy.

  * * *

  Lauren was having the time of her life. Some of it was probably the seemingly bottomless glass of ch
ampagne in her hand, but mostly it was being free of responsibility, being surrounded by friends, and the fact that every time she looked at Ryan Kowalski, he was looking at her.

  And, again thanks to the champagne, she was looking at him more than she usually did. She couldn’t help herself. There were a lot of good-looking guys in the yard. God knew the Kowalski men had been blessed in that department. Drew Miller was no slouch, either, and there were some others who’d probably pass for hot with less competition. But it was Ryan her gaze kept landing on.

  “Ask him to dance and be done with it.”

  Lauren elbowed Hailey, who almost dropped her bowl of pasta salad. “Shut up.”

  “So what if somebody hears me? Anybody who’s looked at you more than three times has seen you watching him.”

  “I’m not asking him to dance. I don’t dance.”

  “Liar. You’ve danced with almost every man here. Speaking of which, who knew Butch Benoit could dance like that?”

  “His mother was a ballroom dance instructor.”

  “How do you know?”

  Lauren shrugged. “No idea. Must have heard it somewhere. Did you try the ambrosia salad? It’s amazing.”

  “Stop trying to distract me with food. You’re not changing the subject.”

  “Fine. I’m pretty sure I heard Butch’s mom was a dance teacher from—”

  “You are going to dance with Ryan before this party ends. I don’t care if I have to stand on a chair and announce to everybody that he has to dance with you.”

  “If you do that, I’ll go to the library on Tuesday and check out every Nicholas Sparks book you have and not bring them back so you’ll have to tell everybody you don’t have any of his books. Forever.”

  “You wouldn’t.”

  Lauren smiled over the rim of her champagne glass. “Oh, I would.”

  “Fine. But you’ll be sorry you spent all that money if you don’t at least dance with him.”