All He Ever Desired (The Kowalskis) Read online

  “Yes, but I guess you didn’t want to dance with me like that.”

  He didn’t even turn off the ignition or close the door behind him. Before his brain started firing on all cylinders, he walked around the back of the car. “I’m not very good with words, so I’ll just show you how I wanted to dance with you.”

  She made a breathless sound that wasn’t quite an oh when he pulled her into his arms. Holding her like that, with her body against his, was even better than he’d dreamed it could be.

  “I didn’t look happy, because it was killing me to have my hands on you and not be able to touch you the way I wanted to because my whole freaking family was watching. And not only would my aunt and Rose be scandalized, but if you shot me down, I’d never hear the end of it.”

  She hadn’t thought about it like that. “How did you want to touch me?”

  “Like this.” He cupped her ass with one hand, pulling her against him, while sliding his other hand up her rib cage. “And I didn’t hold you close because my dick was so hard it ached and I didn’t want you to feel it.”

  “I can feel it now.” He held his breath as her mouth moved toward his, almost close enough to kiss. “But you know what I really want to feel?”

  She was going to feel his balls explode if she didn’t stop grinding her hips against his. “What do you want to feel?”

  “I want to feel like you think I’m the sexiest woman in the world.”

  “Honey, I do think that.”

  “Show me.”

  Ryan dug deep and came up with a tattered shred of self-control. “You’ve been drinking and there’s a good chance you’ll hate me in the morning.”

  “I’m not sober, but I’m not drunk, either.” He must have looked unconvinced, because she laughed. “Want me to do a sobriety test? Bend over and touch my toes?”

  “Honey, you bending over in that dress is the last thing I need. Say the alphabet backward or something.”

  “Z. X? Can even sober people do that?”

  “I don’t care.” He gave in to the temptation and cupped her breast, feeling her nipple harden under his thumb as he stroked it through the silky dress. “All I care about is you not regretting this in the morning.”

  She kissed him, standing up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck. Their breath mingled as she teased him, flicking her tongue over his bottom lip and chuckling when his entire body shuddered.

  With a growl, he plunged a hand into her hair and held her head as he took control of the kiss. Her mouth was hot and sweet and he took his time tasting her. He could feel the urgent hunger in her body and the bite of her fingernails in his scalp, but he didn’t care. He’d waited a long damn time to kiss this woman and he kept on kissing her until she moaned against his mouth in surrender.

  “I want you,” he whispered.

  “Then turn off the car and come inside.”

  He wasn’t sure he could walk that far. Not that it mattered. He’d crawl on his hands and knees to get to her if he had to.

  She walked toward the house, being a smart-ass with her arms held out straight and placing each foot directly in front of the other. When she got to the steps, she turned and laughed.

  With her eyes sparkling and her skin flushed from his kiss, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

  Then she stopped laughing, her gaze locked with his. “The way you’re looking at me right now makes me feel sexy. But if you’re going to stand there all night, I’m going to start without you.”

  That got him moving. He shut off the car and used the walk between it and the front door to move a condom from his wallet to his front pocket. He only had one, so he had to make it count.

  When he walked through her door, he found her in the living room. She’d slipped off the dress and stood there in nothing but two scraps of ivory lace.

  She was, no question, the sexiest woman in the whole world and, by the time he was done with her, she was going to know without a doubt that he thought so.

  * * *

  The insecurities that had started creeping in as she stripped off the dress—she’d gained a little weight and there were a few stretch marks and, ohmigod, she wasn’t twenty anymore—evaporated the second Ryan stepped into the room and stopped moving.

  The overpriced bra-and-panty set were worth every single penny as his gaze swept over her almost naked body. She knew every flaw was on display, but there was no cooling off in his look when he turned those sizzling blue eyes back to her face.

  His naughty grin twisted her up inside. “I’d hate to disappoint you, like I did with the dancing, so maybe you should tell me if you’ve been thinking about this, too.”

  “I’ve thought about this a lot.”

  He started slowly toward her, unbuttoning his shirt as he walked. “When did you start thinking about it?”

  “A long time ago. Years,” she confessed, feeling the heat of the blush across her exposed chest. “If I was stressed or wired or, for whatever reason, just couldn’t get my mind to shut off so I could go to sleep, I’d...you know...fantasize. About you. Us.”

  “Thinking about having sex with me puts you to sleep?”

  She would have laughed if he hadn’t looked honestly perplexed, and maybe a little wounded. “No, thinking about having sex with you distracted me from all the crap in my life, because it was intense and amazing and so perfect I could fall asleep to very, very happy thoughts.”

  “So what you’re saying is you’ve built us up for so long in your head, I can’t possibly live up to your expectations.”

  This time she did laugh. “You’ll just have to try a little harder.”

  He yanked the shirt out of his waistband to undo the last couple of buttons, and she itched to slide her hands across the expanse of his chest.

  Instead, he gently nudged her backward across the room until her back was against the wall, and she sucked in a sharp breath when he raised her arms above her head and pinned her wrists there with one hand.

  “You are so...freaking...beautiful,” he said, punctuating his words with playful nips at her neck.

  Then he hooked the index finger of his free hand in one lacy cup of her bra and yanked it down, exposing her nipple. She moaned when his mouth closed over it, the gentle sucking seeming to pull at her very core, and she arched her back. He used his teeth to pull back the lace and expose her other breast, and then grazed them over the sensitive flesh.

  “I was like a walking erection at that wedding. Every time I’d start to cool off, I’d see you again in that dress and get hard all over again.”

  He licked and sucked, all the while holding her hands over her head so she couldn’t touch him.

  “If I’d known you were wearing this underneath,” he said, his breath warming the nipple moistened by his mouth, “I would have had to sneak up to my room and jerk off so I wouldn’t explode.”

  She pulled against the hand holding her wrists, wanting to touch him, but he held her tighter and increased the pressure on her nipple until she whimpered. “I want to touch you.”

  “I’m not done touching you yet.” He slid his hand down her stomach, his fingertips sliding under the lace edging of her panties.

  She wanted to argue with him, but his mouth covered hers, stealing her breath along with the words. Pinned between the length of his body and the wall, all she could do was surrender to feeling. Feeling his hot breath on her mouth. Feeling the brush of his chest across her nipples. Feeling his fingers—so strong and work-hardened and different from her own touch—sliding under lace.

  Her hips bucked against his hand when he hit the sweet spot and she whimpered, but he held her fast.

  “If I’d known you were this hot from thinking about me fucking you,” he said in a low, hoarse voice that was barely more than a whisper,
“I’d have skipped the damn cake cutting and taken you in the barn.”

  “A woman should never have to choose between sex and cake.”

  He drew back his head so he could see her eyes as he slipped one finger inside her. “Which would you choose?”

  She hesitated, savoring the friction while he waited for her answer. “It was pretty good cake.”

  “Really?” The hand holding her wrists tightened and he worked another finger inside her. She sucked in a breath, grinding against his hand. “Did it make you this wet? Did that cake taste so good it made you come, Lauren, because I’m going to.”

  And he did, stroking her and kissing her until her hips bucked against his hand and she strained against his hold. He held her, relentless in his touch, until she sagged—flushed and breathless—against the wall.

  “So fucking pretty.” He nipped at her jaw, then released her wrists.

  She couldn’t touch him enough. His shirt was already unbuttoned and she shoved it down off his shoulders so she could run her hands over his chest and his arms while he slipped his hands out and tossed it away. His back muscles rippled under her fingertips and she smiled as she licked his throat, making him growl.

  Lauren wanted more. She wanted Ryan naked and in her bed. Stepping out from between him and the wall, she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. His gaze was hot and hungry as he kicked off his shoes and reached down to pull off his socks, and she started down the hall as she pulled down the waist of her panties. Halfway to her door, she paused and kicked them off.

  Looking over her shoulder, she saw Ryan was right behind her, and he stopped to lose the pants and boxer briefs at the same time. The man put her imagination to shame, and it was a good thing her bed was only a few more feet away or she might have taken him down right there in the hallway.

  She hadn’t made her bed that morning, but he didn’t seem to care. After tossing a condom packet onto her nightstand, he shoved the lump of covers back and lowered her onto the mattress.

  Lauren relished the weight of his body as he settled on top of her and a little off to the side, so his knee rested between her thighs. He smiled, seemingly content to stare down at her face for a minute.

  She smiled back. “Has anybody ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes?”

  Then she felt stupid because women probably told him that all the time, and that wasn’t something she wanted to think about at the moment.

  “If they’re beautiful, it’s only because you’re seeing yourself reflected in them.”

  There were a few seconds of silence, and then she laughed. It was so corny, she couldn’t help herself.

  He scowled. “You’re not the first woman to mention my eyes, but I’m pretty damn sure you’re the first one who’s ever laughed at me in bed.”

  “Oh, come on. That was cheesy and you know it.” She tried to take her amusement down a notch, though. “You don’t have to try so hard, you know. I’m already naked.”

  “I noticed. I like that about you.” He brushed his thumb over her nipple while lifting his knee so it pressed between her legs. “And I seem to remember telling you I’m better at showing than telling.”

  When he lowered his head and sucked hard on the nipple he’d been gently rubbing, Lauren gasped. Her body arched, increasing the pressure against his knee, and she clutched his shoulders. He pushed at her ankle with his foot, parting her legs, and slid a hand between her body and his knee. It was too much and she tried to pull her thighs together, but his leg wouldn’t budge.

  “I’m not finished touching you yet.”

  This time he wasn’t holding her hands captive, so she touched him back. She trailed her fingertips down his back, then felt his abs tighten as she slid her left hand under the arm pinning her down so she could close her fingers around the hard length of him.

  He sucked in a breath and muttered a stream of curses she took as a compliment. As he slid his finger inside her, she stroked him from base to tip and felt the low growl from his throat against her skin.

  “You should stop doing that,” he said.

  She threw his own words back at him. “I’m not finished touching you yet.”

  He plunged his finger inside her, then rubbed her clit with his thumb until she was panting. “Come for me again and then you can touch me as much as you want while I’m inside of you.”

  “No, I want to—” He was bossy and again she wanted to argue, but he nudged her legs further open and, before she could get any more words out, his tongue took over for his thumb and the words choked off.

  Her fingers curled in the sheets. She tried to say his name, but it came out a whimper as he twisted his fingers, stretching her with his knuckles. All the while he licked and sucked at the sensitive flesh until her hands clenched into fists and all she could do was ride it out.

  When she went limp, breathless once again, he knelt between her legs, a smug grin on his face. “Told you I’d make you come again.”

  “Show-off.” She grabbed the condom wrapper off the nightstand and threw it at him.

  “Told you I was better at showing,” he said, catching it before it bounced off his chest and tearing it open to roll the condom on. “Of course, if you’d rather stop and go have cake or something...”

  She hooked her ankle behind his ass and pulled so he fell forward onto his hands. With them braced on either side of her head, he kissed her long and hard.

  “So no cake,” he asked when he came up for air, leaning onto an elbow so he could run his other hand up her thigh.

  “If I have to choose between you and cake, I’ll choose you.”

  He kissed her again and she sighed against his mouth as he reached between their bodies and guided himself into her. As his tongue teased hers, he moved his hips so with each slow, steady stroke, he pushed further into her. Digging her fingernails into his back, she urged him deeper.

  “You feel so good,” he said against her ear. “I don’t know if I’m going to last long enough to live up to those expectations.”

  She smiled and turned her face to nip his earlobe. “You’re way better than the imaginary you was.”

  He reached down and tucked his hand behind her knee, pulling her leg up. The change in angle allowed him to thrust deeper and she moaned when he filled her completely. “Now, when you close your eyes at night, you can think of the real me.”

  His pace quickened and she rocked her hips, meeting him stroke for stroke. He let go of her knee and took her hand. He pressed it flat, palm to palm, on the bed beside her head and then curled his fingers around hers, interlocking their hands. Harder and deeper he took her until her entire world became the exquisite sensation of Ryan inside her.

  The orgasm rocked her and she squeezed his hand, aware of his breath coming in ragged, hot bursts against her skin and the uneven thrusts as he found his own release. He collapsed on top of her and she wrapped her arms and legs around him to hold him close as the aftershocks rippled through his body.

  After several minutes, he shifted and she sighed as he pulled out and away from her. When he didn’t stumble or swear getting to the bathroom and back, she realized half the lights in the house were still on. And she didn’t care.

  He climbed back into bed and stretched out beside her with a groan. “That was way better than cake.”

  “That was even better than a triple-layer fudge cake.” She pulled the covers up, trying to straighten them.

  He hauled her against his chest and flicked the blankets over them both with a snap. “Honey, that was better than nachos and a beer at the ballpark watching the Sox spanking the Yankees in the ninth.”

  His arms tightened around her and she melted against his chest, closing her eyes. And, as she drifted off to sleep, she was certain of one thing. Her fantasies would never be the same again.

/>   Chapter Eleven

  “Ma!”

  Lauren groaned, keeping her eyes squeezed shut against the light. She wanted to yell at him again to stop bellowing, but her head hurt too much to yell. Instead she nestled further under her covers. As she nestled, an arm curled around her, hauling her back against a warm, hard and very naked body.

  Ryan Kowalski was in her bed. And Nick was home a day early. “Oh crap. Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.”

  “Ma?”

  And her bedroom door was open. Oh, and there were clothes strewn down the hallway. “Oh crap.”

  “I’m not hiding in the closet,” the warm lump next to her mumbled.

  “I’m coming,” she yelled, hoping to halt his search for her, but it was too late.

  Her son saw her, clutching the covers to her chin, saw Ryan and then turned and walked back toward the living room. She started to call after him, but what was she going to do? Have a conversation with him while she hid behind the blanket?

  She managed to snag her bathrobe off the foot post and pull it on so she could at least close the door. Then, rather than face her son and possibly her ex-husband that way, she pulled on a pair of underwear and her jeans under the robe and then, keeping her back to the bed, pulled on a bra and a sweatshirt.

  “I thought he wasn’t coming home until tomorrow.”

  She turned to find Ryan sitting up, looking utterly delicious with his hair tousled and the blankets around his waist. “He wasn’t supposed to. Something must be wrong.”

  After taking a few awkward seconds to gather their clothes from the hallway, which she tossed into the bedroom before closing the door, Lauren went out into the living room to find Dean and Nick sitting stone-faced, one on each end of the couch.

  “Nick didn’t feel good, so I brought him home,” Dean said in a grim voice. “Surprise.”

  Her embarrassment at being caught in bed with a man was instantly squashed by concern. “What’s the matter? Is it your stomach? Headache? Fever?”